I know jack shit about politics, so I’d be the best choice for the next president of the United States of America!
What’s my platform? How about keeping our noses out of each others business? I don’t care if you like to fuck. Fuck all you want, as long as it’s consensual.
You’re free to live the life you choose. Want to earn money by having sex with strangers? Go ahead, but register it as a private business, pay taxes and get checked regularly.
Let’s legalize marijuana, tax it like cigarettes and treat driving while under the influence the same way we do with alcohol. Do what you want, as long as it doesn’t hurt others.
Abortion? As a man, I have no right to tell a woman what to do with her body. No man does!
Same-sex marriage? Is it hurting other people? Does it take the magic out of heterosexual marriage? No. If you don’t like seeing two guys kissing, don’t look.
My platform is anti-rape, anti-discrimination and pro-living. So vote for Curtis Mueller for president. I can’t be worse than the Republican candidates!