1. Men, be between 15-30 minutes early.
Women, you can show up an hour late and then an additional 30 minutes for every cup size your bra goes up to, no more than four hours late, and fakies don’t count!
2. Men, if you invited her out, you pay the bill. Don’t be a bitch when it comes to tipping either.
Women, you went out with him, so let him pay or split it.
3. Men, pick something that is nice and neutral to take her out to. Your house is not a good first stop.
Women, don’t be super picky. As long as it’s a step above McDonald’s, go with it! Whataburger is nice.
4. Men, first date kissing etiquette is super complicated, so watch her body language. If she is actively avoiding coming within a few feet of you, cut your losses.
Women, throw us a bone here. If it’s okay to kiss you, get all snuggly up close!
5. Men, don’t ask any questions you aren’t comfortable also answering. If you ask her how many sexual partners she’s had, be prepared to answer in kind.
Women, same goes for you. If a topic is taboo, feel free to mention it early on. “Don’t ask me about all the abortions I’ve had!”
6. Men, this isn’t high school. Stop trying to talk a girl you haven’t even met yet into sending you naked pictures or “candid shots”.
Women, don’t let men manipulate you into this BS. They just want to see how pliable you are as a first date lay.
7. Men, it is not cool to hint or overtly state that you have masturbated since you started conversing with them. Save any talk about your penis until she actually sees it. It’s all small talk before that.
Women, don’t make mention of your breasts until you are ready for the person you are dating to fixate on them. “My breasts are sore,” will never be responded to by a straight male with anything beyond “I WILL MASSAGE THEM FOR YOU!!!”